On a decision to welcome possibility

Because dreams need space to grow

What’s your greatest goal?

Do you have one? If you do - fantastic, you’re well on your way to fulfilment, self-actualisation and all of the wonders of life. Really, it’s true. As a collector of too many self help books, here is the executive summary of How To Succeed At Life™¹

• Define goal

• Break down steps between you-today and you-with-goal

• Do the steps

• Win at life

Easy, right? To achieve success we just need to define what success means before we can begin to break down the route and actions that can take us there. If you already have a goal, you’ve taken that first vital step to achieving anything. I’m kind of envious, if I’m being honest.

What if you have lots of goals? How do you decide which to do first? Or do you do the steps for all your goals in parallel? Maybe your multi-step talents have reached dance-mat-rock-star-level genius. Lucky thing. I look like a flailing octopus with seven of its legs tied together on those games.

Or, rather than lots of goals, what if you just don’t know what you want? Well, then you’re in good company. It’s hard. Trying to identify and name my goals has been the biggest hurdle in my quest for any form of self improvement. How can I build a new career if I am not yet able to precisely define what I want to do next, beyond ‘something new’? How can I live a life of joy if I don’t know what makes me happy? Well, like Anna in Disney’s Frozen, I’ve realised that to start with, all I need to do is “the next right thing”. One step at a time. No flailing octopi required.

Wherever you might be in your goal-setting or goal-chasing journey, there are two pre-steps, to make sure that the next step will take you in the right direction:

• Accept Uncertainty

• Welcome Possibility

The present: uncertainty becomes possibility

If you read my recent articles on the background of my decision to leave medicine, you’ll know that so far I’ve shared a lot of writing about the past.

If you haven’t seen them, you can find them here: Part One; Part Two. If this is your first newsletter from me, then welcome and a very big thank you for deciding to sign up to Anatomy of a Decision! If you haven’t subscribed yet, you can do so by clicking the button below.

In these articles there is a thread of uncertainty running through my story. One of the major reasons I continued in my surgical career for as long as I did was a feeling of not knowing what else I could do. Uncertainty is without doubt a place of discomfort. I have spent years railing against it. It is only very recently that I have decided to - if not quite embrace it - accept it into my life, because like it or not, it’s here to stay. It’s also precisely that lack of certainty that gives us space; and the discomfort that provides the incentive, to grow.

In today’s article, I want to begin to move away from the past and into the present. To this very moment, and all of the opportunities it holds for us. Let me introduce you to my new best friend, possibility.

Over the last seventeen days I have thoroughly enjoyed taking part in

Beth Kempton

’s #tinywinterpoems challenge - I highly recommend taking a look at the gorgeous poems and incredible talent on display in her notes threads! When I look back at my own pieces from these two and a half glorious weeks I realised that the theme running through many, is possibility. I’d like to share some of them with you here.

These poems are written to a single word prompt, in a maximum of ten minutes, and with no (or very limited!) editing.

This is RENDER:

and this is OPENING:

Since I discovered Substack via Beth’s Winter Writing Sanctuary over the threshold of the New Year, I have become captivated by the energy and community in this online space, and I am excited to be beginning to discover my voice as a writer. This has come as quite a surprise. For two decades, writing (almost exclusively in patient notes) has been the chore I must complete at the end of an operation or clinical consultation. In fact it is so time-consuming that it is one of the most frequently delegated tasks among medical professionals. Though I have long enjoyed other creative activities: I sew, bake, crochet, I’ve taken silversmithing courses, made bridal jewellery, hand-made this year’s Christmas wreath; writing for pleasure has simply never occurred to me before now.

In the early weeks after I left my last clinical post, as summer warmed my days and lifted my spirits, I actively decided to allow myself six weeks off before I would start to search for new jobs. I needed that time and space to begin to work out who I am now that I’m not a surgeon. Once September rolled around and brought the new school year with it, my days suddenly had a freedom that I’ve not known since my own childhood. I updated my CV and opened LinkedIn and started to apply for non-clinical vacancies in fields such as consulting and life sciences, wanting to use my ‘transferable skills’ to build a fresh start in a new career. In those internet forays I came across one of Beth’s posts advertising her (free!) course. I don’t know exactly what made me click to join, but my goodness, I am glad that I did. Alongside many revisions of my CV and individually targeted cover letters, I learned to write essays and poetry, I found friendship, I found that long-elusive joy. Her gentle encouragement as I explore this creative venture has opened pockets of my mind where opportunity has been hidden.

Now, when I sit to write, candle lit and blank page awaiting, I enter a state of mind that feels full of infinite potential. I often have no idea where my writing might go until the pen meets the page, then incredibly, words emerge and sentences take shape, from somewhere much deeper than my conscious thoughts. I do not recognise myself in the work that results. Even to call it work feels inappropriate. Wonder would be better. What I will make of this opportunity, only time will tell, but here in this moment, I am allowing possibility to take the lead.

The possible’s slow fuse is lit by the imagination.

Emily Dickinson

The thing about goals, is that they’re wonderful, when you know what they are. But you might not, always. And what I want to say is, that’s ok. They might need a spark of inspiration to begin to take shape. They take time to emerge, and longer to define. They cannot form in an overwhelmed mind, they need space to develop. And sometimes, they need regular watering with the intangible sorcery of creativity to grow into their potential.

As for me, my goals are starting to seed. They are not quite ready for the big old world, yet, but they’re growing. I’m so glad you’re here taking a front row seat to watch their progress. I have a feeling that when they’re ready, they are going to sparkle.

Louise x

What does possibility mean to you? I invite you to explore the word, perhaps in your own ten-minute poem, or whatever form feels right. If you would like to share your piece, I’d love to read it, you’re welcome to post it in the comments!

If you enjoyed this article, please do share it with your friends:

1. It’s not really a trademark, it just sounds like it should be. Please don’t sue me.