Thank you for this Louise - I can tell so much work went into it. Adriana’s story is particularly horrific.
I really feel this have the makings of a book either expanded on aliens this theme or by publishing a series of medical ethics essays (including your one on gender / wards). Are you following Maryan on here ? If not I will send the link. She’s on my subscribe list
Thanks, Joanna. These essays are my procrastination tool keeping me from writing a book... but it means a lot that you think they have that potential. Please do send Maryan's link I'd love to read her work xx
Such a brave and important piece Louise, thank you for writing it. I am what is medically termed a serial or habitual aborter, (as if it’s something I did by choice! ) having suffered six recorded miscarriages, one where the heart of the baby stopped, and like you, I was offered the option of waiting or having a D&C. Then after fertility treatment I had to make the decision to terminate a pregnancy. I’ve read about the impact on individual women in the States with horror, and rage, and while my deep grief is always present, I am grateful that I lived in a country that during my own losses gave me options, and that is now moving to treat women with more compassion.
Oh Jaimie, I'm so sorry for your losses. Thank you for sharing your experience, and I am thankful that you felt supported during what must have been impossibly painful times. The women whose stories I wrote about here, and the many, many more with similarly horrifying tales deserved that kind of support, too, which is why I felt compelled to speak up and publish this piece. Thank you so much for joining me in championing compassion xx
Thank you for writing this, it’s a lot to think about. A subject that I haven’t had much cause to think about personally, thankfully. The story of Adrianna is absolutely terrifying, my brain struggles to fathom the decisions that were made. Thank you for bringing this to our attention and shining a spotlight on the subject. I look forward to reading more from you xx
Thank you, it is such a distressing story isn't it. It does seem to be, thankfully, exceptional hence making the international news, but it's impossible to fathom the pain her family have been and still are going through. I really appreciate your comment, thank you xx
Some stories of deep suffering and terrible loss here Louise, including your own. I’m so sorry.
The reasons for termination can be so complex and painful. As those of us who have desired pregnancies to be successful will know (and I must stress that I am speaking from a position of not having experienced pregnancy loss or difficulty conceiving), that flicker of a heartbeat means so much when the baby is wanted. The permission for the life of the baby to continue is often subject to the perspective of their parents, especially with existing restrictions being eroded away, here in the UK and in Ireland at least. Also on the human rights side of this topic, medical professionals that disagree with abortion on ethical grounds can be forced to participate, which I also find to be inconsistent with fairness and equity.
Thank you, Laura, for such a considered comment. Having now been pregnant five times, and miscarried three, being entirely honest, I do not think that I personally could or would choose to terminate should I ever become pregnant again. Even way before a heartbeat, seeing two lines on a pregnancy test was enough for me to fall in love with the imagined future child. But I also know that I live in relative privilege, where another pregnancy would be difficult but not impossible, and my living children would be well taken care of whatever happened. I remember going to my 20 week scans and fearing what might be found, knowing too much about the many potential congenital anomalies from my work, and thinking that I had no idea what choice I'd make should we be told the baby had a condition incompatible with life. It is impossible to know, and I am fortunate that I didn't have to, but I am grateful that for those women that do face such heartbreak, they will be supported to make the decision that is right for them and their family. On the note about medical professionals, here in England at least (I have only ever worked in England), there is a right to conscientious objection so no health professional has to participate in abortion procedures unless in a critical situation. We may be required to look after a woman undergoing abortion before or after the procedure, but can legally excuse ourselves from participation in the procedure itself. (https://www.rcn.org.uk/clinical-topics/womens-health/termination-of-pregnancy/termination-of-pregnancy-conscientious-objection) I really appreciate you contributing to this difficult but important conversation, and I respect your views and your right to hold them. Thank you for expressing them so thoughtfully and articulately. xx
Thanks so much for your additional thoughts Louise, which I appreciate. I retract my comment about conscientious objection and should have done my research before including it - I was thinking of some cases that went to court in Ireland, but it seems the same rights as apply in England have also applied in Ireland since 2018
Louise, my heart goes out to you for the experiences you’ve shared. Thank you also for the compassionate sharing about what’s happening to Black women in America. I hate the disparity. It’s shameful.
Any pregnant person needs access to the full spectrum every reproductive care.
Thank you, Heidi, I agree that the disparities are horrifying, and it is shameful that we are only just recognising that they exist, we have a long way to go. As I was writing this piece I had a conversation with my husband that I wondered whether I should explore these stories as much as I did, because I am not Black and these are not my stories to tell. I also admit to being worried about getting it wrong. But I wrote it anyway, because it felt too important not to, and to 'look away' would be worse than trying to tell the story - if I make mistakes in the telling, I can learn from them, but if I say nothing, I am just living in my bubble of privilege. We all deserve access to fair and respectful healthcare. And as you say, abortion is healthcare. xx
Thank you, Lyndsay, so much. As I watch my subscriber numbers predictably fall minute by minute, having written a little too polemically for some, on a topic that I find upsetting every time I hear about stories like those I’ve shared, I honestly can’t tell you how much your support means xx
Thank you for sharing - I have taken a while to comment as even though I know you own 'the rights' to tell your story, it still felt like I was intruding by reading about your most recent experiences. Perhaps a reflection of how I am affected by the way that miscarriage often isn't talked about in our society? Sorry to hear about all your miscarriages.
Very interesting discussion though. I particularly like the respectful discussion in the comments. Many people have lost the ability to be civil in debate which certainly stops me discussing certain views I have as I think others might disagree.
You write so clearly and thoughtfully. Would you mind writing an accessible 'medical ethics through short stories' book which non-medics could understand?
Thank you so much for sharing this deeply personal piece. Abortion is healthcare and Adriana's story is beyond comprehension to me. xx
Thank you, Cheryl. Adriana's story is utterly heartbreaking, may she rest in peace and her family find solace as they learn to bear their loss. xx
Thank you for this Louise - I can tell so much work went into it. Adriana’s story is particularly horrific.
I really feel this have the makings of a book either expanded on aliens this theme or by publishing a series of medical ethics essays (including your one on gender / wards). Are you following Maryan on here ? If not I will send the link. She’s on my subscribe list
Thanks, Joanna. These essays are my procrastination tool keeping me from writing a book... but it means a lot that you think they have that potential. Please do send Maryan's link I'd love to read her work xx
Such a brave and important piece Louise, thank you for writing it. I am what is medically termed a serial or habitual aborter, (as if it’s something I did by choice! ) having suffered six recorded miscarriages, one where the heart of the baby stopped, and like you, I was offered the option of waiting or having a D&C. Then after fertility treatment I had to make the decision to terminate a pregnancy. I’ve read about the impact on individual women in the States with horror, and rage, and while my deep grief is always present, I am grateful that I lived in a country that during my own losses gave me options, and that is now moving to treat women with more compassion.
Oh Jaimie, I'm so sorry for your losses. Thank you for sharing your experience, and I am thankful that you felt supported during what must have been impossibly painful times. The women whose stories I wrote about here, and the many, many more with similarly horrifying tales deserved that kind of support, too, which is why I felt compelled to speak up and publish this piece. Thank you so much for joining me in championing compassion xx
Thank you for writing this, it’s a lot to think about. A subject that I haven’t had much cause to think about personally, thankfully. The story of Adrianna is absolutely terrifying, my brain struggles to fathom the decisions that were made. Thank you for bringing this to our attention and shining a spotlight on the subject. I look forward to reading more from you xx
Thank you, it is such a distressing story isn't it. It does seem to be, thankfully, exceptional hence making the international news, but it's impossible to fathom the pain her family have been and still are going through. I really appreciate your comment, thank you xx
Some stories of deep suffering and terrible loss here Louise, including your own. I’m so sorry.
The reasons for termination can be so complex and painful. As those of us who have desired pregnancies to be successful will know (and I must stress that I am speaking from a position of not having experienced pregnancy loss or difficulty conceiving), that flicker of a heartbeat means so much when the baby is wanted. The permission for the life of the baby to continue is often subject to the perspective of their parents, especially with existing restrictions being eroded away, here in the UK and in Ireland at least. Also on the human rights side of this topic, medical professionals that disagree with abortion on ethical grounds can be forced to participate, which I also find to be inconsistent with fairness and equity.
Thank you, Laura, for such a considered comment. Having now been pregnant five times, and miscarried three, being entirely honest, I do not think that I personally could or would choose to terminate should I ever become pregnant again. Even way before a heartbeat, seeing two lines on a pregnancy test was enough for me to fall in love with the imagined future child. But I also know that I live in relative privilege, where another pregnancy would be difficult but not impossible, and my living children would be well taken care of whatever happened. I remember going to my 20 week scans and fearing what might be found, knowing too much about the many potential congenital anomalies from my work, and thinking that I had no idea what choice I'd make should we be told the baby had a condition incompatible with life. It is impossible to know, and I am fortunate that I didn't have to, but I am grateful that for those women that do face such heartbreak, they will be supported to make the decision that is right for them and their family. On the note about medical professionals, here in England at least (I have only ever worked in England), there is a right to conscientious objection so no health professional has to participate in abortion procedures unless in a critical situation. We may be required to look after a woman undergoing abortion before or after the procedure, but can legally excuse ourselves from participation in the procedure itself. (https://www.rcn.org.uk/clinical-topics/womens-health/termination-of-pregnancy/termination-of-pregnancy-conscientious-objection) I really appreciate you contributing to this difficult but important conversation, and I respect your views and your right to hold them. Thank you for expressing them so thoughtfully and articulately. xx
Thanks so much for your additional thoughts Louise, which I appreciate. I retract my comment about conscientious objection and should have done my research before including it - I was thinking of some cases that went to court in Ireland, but it seems the same rights as apply in England have also applied in Ireland since 2018
Louise, you tell this story with such courage. Thank you for sharing your and Adriana’s story with such compassion. 💕
Thank you, Alegria, I appreciate your comment xx
Louise, my heart goes out to you for the experiences you’ve shared. Thank you also for the compassionate sharing about what’s happening to Black women in America. I hate the disparity. It’s shameful.
Any pregnant person needs access to the full spectrum every reproductive care.
abortion is healthcare. Full stop.
Thank you, Heidi, I agree that the disparities are horrifying, and it is shameful that we are only just recognising that they exist, we have a long way to go. As I was writing this piece I had a conversation with my husband that I wondered whether I should explore these stories as much as I did, because I am not Black and these are not my stories to tell. I also admit to being worried about getting it wrong. But I wrote it anyway, because it felt too important not to, and to 'look away' would be worse than trying to tell the story - if I make mistakes in the telling, I can learn from them, but if I say nothing, I am just living in my bubble of privilege. We all deserve access to fair and respectful healthcare. And as you say, abortion is healthcare. xx
A wonderful piece, Louise. Written with the knowledge and caring of a doctor, and the honesty, strength and love of a woman and mother.
Thank you, Maureen, your kind words are incredibly appreciated xx
Wow so powerful Louise, thank you for sharing your experience and the experiences of others with us xx
Thank you, Lyndsay, so much. As I watch my subscriber numbers predictably fall minute by minute, having written a little too polemically for some, on a topic that I find upsetting every time I hear about stories like those I’ve shared, I honestly can’t tell you how much your support means xx
I thought it was a brave, personal and brilliantly researched piece. Keep writing your truth xx
Thank you for sharing - I have taken a while to comment as even though I know you own 'the rights' to tell your story, it still felt like I was intruding by reading about your most recent experiences. Perhaps a reflection of how I am affected by the way that miscarriage often isn't talked about in our society? Sorry to hear about all your miscarriages.
Very interesting discussion though. I particularly like the respectful discussion in the comments. Many people have lost the ability to be civil in debate which certainly stops me discussing certain views I have as I think others might disagree.
You write so clearly and thoughtfully. Would you mind writing an accessible 'medical ethics through short stories' book which non-medics could understand?
Thank you for sharing this. ❤️